Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Love Cynic

Secret: I'm currently sitting in my office avoiding anything that closely resembles work. I almost played hooky today but couldn't think up a good excuse. Luckily my boss (and all the other company big-wigs) are out of the office for a maybe tomorrow will be hooky day!

(this is my actual to-do list from's all crossed off now. I just didn't bother to make one today...)

Over the weekend, I went up to my old stomping grounds, Charlotte, NC. I spent one amazing year after college living in Charlotte. While I'm absolutely in love with the city and 3 of my best friends live there, I hated my job...which is how I got back to ATL last April. Anyway, I went up because one of my best friends is getting married next year and needed help wedding dress shopping. No brainer...of course I went!

It got me thinking about marriage. I used to think that by 25 I'd be well on the road to "until death do us part"...HA. I'm not even on the road to Valentine's Day being something other than Singles Awareness Day. After some bad breakups, bad dates, and bad examples...I'm not sure what I think about marriage. My love gene has been replaced with the cynicism gene.

(even after Miranda got married her love cynicism never failed)

I wonder where I lost my faith in marriage? Was it when I found out that the person that had me sending him pictures of engagement rings was living a double [possibly triple] life and seeing 2 other women? Was it when Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries ended their marriage after a mere 72 days? Was it when I looked at my parents, who are polar opposites, and wondered how the heck they ever got together in the first place?

Is it possible to be happily single? I mean right now, I'm [technically] single and I'm happy. I've decided that my future boyfriend is out there right now, hopefully getting richer by the minute, and one day our paths will cross. But that's the thing...I'm happy, yet I'm still hoping that he's out there. Could I be happy knowing that he may not be? and that its going to be me, London and Kinglsey (the pups) forever and ever amen?

(Please tell me you remember that crazy stunt when Dennis Rodman married himself)

I guess the truth is that I'm not THAT cynical. I do believe in finding your other half and spending the rest of your life walking hand in hand on the beach. I just don't believe that its as easy as it sounds. Dating is hard, relationships take work, and marriage can be rough. I guess the secret is that you have to find someone that you love enough, that always gives you butterflies, and that you can imagine waking up next to every morning whether you are happy, sad, or indifferent. Maybe I can learn from the mistakes of those that I feel made me cynical so that when I run in to Mr. Wonderful I will recognize him, appreciate him, and be with him...for better or worse, until death do us part. 

Happy early Singles Awareness Day to all you Bachelorettes! (I wonder what my future Valentine will be doing with his day?)

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